Fork in the Road

Writing about feminism, relationships, gender, identity, fiction, poetry and life by a Bay area questioning, sarcastic, warm-hearted, tech diva who was once married and monogamous for many years and then took a new fork in the road --a much more interesting and unpredictable fork.

My Photo

About

Categories

  • Books
  • breakups
  • Diet and health
  • dream work
  • family
  • Feeling blue/sad/angry
  • Feeling happy/amazing/excited
  • feminism
  • Food and Drink
  • Games
  • I must be crazy
  • Imagining the future
  • Logistics
  • Memories
  • my boyfriend has cancer
  • My husband is crazy
  • my new life
  • Other bloggers
  • Poetry
  • polyamory
  • Religion
  • self image
  • Sex and dating
  • The kid, the dog and the cat
  • The lying sack of shit
  • this is hard
  • Travel
  • Weblogs
  • yoga & sprituality
See More

Recent Comments

  • Jooseppi Arendonk on NYTimes: Divorce after 40 years
  • Charlotte on Breaking up is hard to do
  • suzannah on Checking in with the universe
  • suzannah on NYTimes: Divorce after 40 years
  • Mandy on NYTimes: Divorce after 40 years
  • オテモヤン on NYTimes: Divorce after 40 years
  • Berwyn Divorce Lawyer on NYTimes: Divorce after 40 years
  • Samantha on Checking in with the universe
  • Lori on Checking in with the universe
  • S Taylor on NYTimes: Divorce after 40 years
Blog powered by Typepad

Love, hurts

So Colin and I have been seeing each other for 3 months. It's been joyful and intense, and I'm so glad to know him, but I experience fears I've just never felt before. It's hard for me to distinguish whether what I am feeling is sadness, loneliness, insecurity or just fear, but the some of the days when we're not together and we don't speak I just feel buckets of pain.

I am feeling that way tonight--it's been a really, really long and intense day at work and I am going to see Colin tomorrow, but I wish I could talk to him tonight--only after calling him last night and not getting him (or having him return the call), I don't feel comfortable calling again..and yet I wish we could speak.

What does this mean? I am in this state of sadness and longing that doesn't feel that good and that makes me feel uncomfortably needy. I also worry this man is out with soneone else and that I'd have no idea why...not that that matters.

Ugh,

October 10, 2007 in this is hard | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Talking truth with Wask

When I saw Wash this weekend, we talked about the issue I needed to clear with him, but we didn't get everything talked out.  When I saw him last night, there were stil issues between us and it was tense.  Finally, we started to talk--and talked and talked.  We still didn't get everything resolved, but at least we were communicating.
During our chat, I worked on being clear what I felt and wanted, and made Wash own what he wanted.  Every time he said "Do you want me to ...?" I responded "What it is that you want? Tell me about that..."  because I think his issues are tied to the dicotomy between what he wants to do to please/placate other people and his need to own his own behavior and choices right out there in the open.
I think there are some issues Wash struggles with, that now I am experiencing and learning about, and the next few months will help me understand how insurmountable these issues really are,  for me.

July 27, 2006 in this is hard | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Subscribe to this blog's feed

Recent Posts

  • Mom died today--in 1998
  • Updates and news and perhaps more posts
  • This man is drowning and you are failing as his life preserver (Note to self)
  • So it has been almost
  • Almost August, and things with
  • More drama
  • Mood swings: My boyfriend's got a front seat on the rollercoaster of life
  • Hello, old friend
  • Checking in with the universe
  • Uncertainties

Archives

  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • November 2011
  • July 2010
  • May 2010
  • May 2009
  • September 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007