So Colin and I have been seeing each other for 3 months. It's been joyful and intense, and I'm so glad to know him, but I experience fears I've just never felt before. It's hard for me to distinguish whether what I am feeling is sadness, loneliness, insecurity or just fear, but the some of the days when we're not together and we don't speak I just feel buckets of pain.
I am feeling that way tonight--it's been a really, really long and intense day at work and I am going to see Colin tomorrow, but I wish I could talk to him tonight--only after calling him last night and not getting him (or having him return the call), I don't feel comfortable calling again..and yet I wish we could speak.
What does this mean? I am in this state of sadness and longing that doesn't feel that good and that makes me feel uncomfortably needy. I also worry this man is out with soneone else and that I'd have no idea why...not that that matters.
Ugh,
i know that feeling, that all i want to do is talk to that special person, call him a few times and not get to him, waiting anxiously for him to return the calls and also afraid of calling anymore just in case he thinks that i am a mad idiot. is it just me, but isnt this needy-ness bad? i'm like this as well at most times, and i think it has gotten me into lots of trouble before. i have tried to change but so far unable to. a bit out of hope honestly.
Posted by: Elisha | October 15, 2007 at 09:22 AM