So Colin has been away this week and came home last night and said he'd call me. He didn't. And he hasn't. And I feel bad about it. And don't want to be the one to call him. To make it nice. On one hand, I feel really disappointed and hurt--I think we may have significantly different ways of relating and I am not getting what I need from him in terms of communication. On the other hand, he's been away from home for 2 weeks, just got back last night, went into the office for the first time today and so on.
The rational voice tries to keep perspective, but then when I see he logged into the dating site we both belong to yesterday, the hurt starts. I recognize he could have been surfing there, insomniac, at 1 am, but he could have written me an email at 1 am, as well.
Translation: Feeling like perhaps I like him more than he likes me, or that he likes me more as a friend and I am not sure how I feel about that, assuming it is true.
Supposition: This man has the potential to hurt me because I do care for him and wish he would care for me in a similar way.
Next steps: Unknown. If he doesn't call tonight, I am going to consider whether he is really someone I want to date and how much effort I want to put into maintaining the connection.
Waaaahhh! (a blend of real perceptions and galloping insecurities!)
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