Today wasn't the best day. I'm feeling quite anxious and restless and wish I didn't have so much fear. What gives?
- An old and dear friend has been diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer; I fear for her
- Some things are happening at work that make me worry about the future and about security in general
- I told John I could not spend the weekend with him because I had a prior committment, made before we met, that I had to honor. Given than we'd made big plans, this did not go over well--I followed my heart and did what worked for me, but it was hard.
- Tomorrow is my 30th wedding anniversary, or would be, if I were still married--that means I met the X 35 years ago, and started seeing him again before we married 32 years ago, huge numbers in my world. Given the hurt I felt the last time we talked, and the silence since then, I have no idea if we will ever talk again, unless there is a reason to discuss the Kid.
I know I've been fortunate in the last year to have achieved some security, serenity and peace..but today is a fearful day--and I don't like it.
It hurts.
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