After a few days of reflection, I've decided that I'm definitely not a sex addict, but that I don't do a good job of balancing my feelings about people I sleep with--my pickiness in relationships when it comes to quantity is (un)balanced by my unfailing tendency to think I am in love (and then realize/decide I am not) with each man I get involved with (3 in 2 years.)
The take away here(among many) is that I probably trade sex for love--I want sex and don't want to admit it, or want sex with someone I love or feel loving toward--and they want love (and sex, of course). Kinda a reversal of the typical male/female thing.
In other words, do I love John? Or do I love the fact he loves me and makes me feel good? It's probably the latter--and yet, it's good enough I hesitate to give that up (go on, lecture me here).
It's hard to say something like this that doesn't hurt anyone is bad..but I wonder whether I shouldn't just think about starting over at some later date...and hold off on the relationships and spend that time alone I just never got around to putting in.
Comments?
Love IS loving how someone makes you feel. That IS a form of love. Love is not some abstract concept that magically radiates from your being until you realize it. And the various forms of it CAN encompass being in love with the sex of someone. Stop trying to compartmentalize.
Posted by: M | May 18, 2007 at 08:58 AM