The Kid and I went out tonight--haven't seen him for two weeks. He's 2o now, a man, and he's getting serious with Flower, his girlfriend. They're talking about moving to a college town together this fall, getting a place, and both working and attending schoool. I love him so much, the thought of him moving away--into that seperate life of his own I always imagined--really hurts me. I love the fact it's so easy to see him, that he's close by---and yet I respect his desire to build a life of his own.
The Kid said one thing that really hit me, made me wonder how much damage we'd done him:
"I want to go to school, work, and graduate, get a good job and then buy a house. It's important to have good credit."
Buy a house? At what, 22? The guy's from a different tribe than his mom...at that age, I was living in a loft in Manhattan and going to poetry readings, dreaming of Sylvia Plath and Dylan Thomas.
My husband bought his house at age 25, a good decision which I'm just the beneficiary of.
I think things are really different for kids Kid's age -- education and rent are much more expensive, credit is far more available, and the end result is that a lot of thirty year olds are up to their eyeballs in debt and have no hope of getting a house.
And because they are in deep debt, they often limit their ideas of what they can do in other ways -- when and whether or not they can have a family, and what kinds of jobs they can take. More kids should do what Kid is doing -- they'd have more and better opportunities and a happier, freer life.
However! He could do all this a bit closer to home...have I mentioned being close to family also has economic and lifestyle benefits? When you're getting started, little things like a car breaking down, or help with the little emergencies of life can turn into big cash-flow problems if you don't have anyone nearby to help. Without a family member, a little thing like that can mean missing work, or being late on rent, or not being able to pay the light bill. Having a network is also very smart when you're launching your life, because little things are less likely to derail you for weeks, months, or years. People who are close to their families (eg visit more than twice a month and report good relations) are also happier and live longer. I wouldn't be surprised if they had better credit ratings too.
Posted by: Lisa Williams | February 24, 2006 at 03:43 PM