So last night I went to a family party with R.
Everyone in his life was there -siblings, cousins, old friends, etc.--
And this was the chance to meet the woman (me) they'd been hearing about.
I looked great: red high-heeled sandals, flirty top, pretty skirt and shawl, and I
tried to do my part of graciously meeting everyone connected to R.
But I could see how some of them knew him--knew who he really was--and some of them didn't.
To some, he was the single fat guy--and to others, he was a prince.
There was one moment at the party when I surprised myself:
Late at night and talking with two women, old family friends.
They wanted to know who I am, what I do, etc.
I shared bits of my history and work life, including the fact I have a son, am almost divorced, etc.
One gave me a look.
"So it's nice you have R to keep you company," she purred.
I gave her a look right back.
"Actually, with R, it's far more than company," I said quietly. "Truth is, I chose him. There
are tons of guys out there to date, but I chose him. I think he's really special. He has the most
giving heart."
The women exchange glances. Suddenly, this conversation was moving to a whole new level, one called the truth.
"You know, I talked and emailed with him before I met him," I said. "I almost didn't, because he told me about his weight. But then I decided to meet him anyway, and I am glad I did, because
I think he's wonderful."
They looked at me and smiled and nodded.
"You're a wonderful woman," one said softly, "To be able to look past that. R has the biggest heart."
"And that's going to be fixed," the other one said, referring to R's pending gastric bypass.
Suddenly, we are all friends.
I realize they love R, they have seen his disastrous choices in the past, and they want to protect him.
Of course, I also realize that my comments are going to be endlessly discussed the next day, and the status of our relationship analyzed.
The message: It's not that he's an easy meal or convenient. It's that I've chosen him.
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