Fork in the Road

This man is drowning and you are failing as his life preserver (Note to self)

Funny that I last posted here in July 2010 and I described the roller-coaster of emotion with Colin. Now it's November 2011 and I am still on the fence, only edging closer to the break-up.  I think this man and I just don' want to have the same relationship: he wants caring for to a degree I am unwilling to provide.

Yesterday Colin said to me: "If I slit my wrists and bled to death on your bed, three months later you'd be FINE. But if you left me, I'd be lost."

I keep trying to make it work but the big red sign is going up: this man is drowning and you are failing as his life preserver.

• Out of work for  years
• ADD
• Depression
• Issues with focus

And wanting to find his escape in MY work. FAIL.

I just broke up with Wash

I was in the car and I was talking about our relationship and he said "Do you want to break up with me?" and I said Yes.  In a way it was an amazingly loving thing for him to do because he could see that my feelings for him have so totally changed; on another level, it was madness for him to go there so quickly--and yet, his doing that gave me an out. Wow.